I
ran the New York City Marathon. Originally I was going to write about all the
things you would imagine a typically “Race Report” to say, maybe talk about how
my armband chafed me and I had to give it to my husband and BFF Tara at mile 10
(this did happen) but I am not going to do that with this post. Instead – here
goes.
I
met my true self on that course. I am going to try really hard to keep myself
in check and keep my perspective honest. Before the race I was, honestly,
scared shitless and BFF Tara said the best thing to me, our conversation went
to the effect of something like this. In all truthiness, I was probably a lot
more dramatic and possibly whinny.
Me: I am terrified
about this race. Don’t tell Husband Dan that I am saying this but he is super
right, I needed to train more for this. What am I thinking?
BFF Tara: You can
do this. You have trained and you can do this. Not that many people will run a
marathon and you are not only going to run a marathon but you’re running the
New York City Marathon, which is a big deal.
Me: But so many
people run marathons and they are so much faster than me. I am so slow.
BFF Tara:
Courtney, you said this to me, a mile is a mile doesn’t matter how fast it is.
And it might seem like a lot of people run marathons but that is only because
the people that do run marathons are all here.
To me, it made sense. I kept
thinking about that before the race. It helped me to keep myself in check,
meaning that I didn’t want to take one step of that race for granted. I am so incredibly
lucky that my first marathon was the 2013 ING New York City Marathon. I am also
so grateful to the USO (for a lot of reasons) but for letting me represent Team
USO and fundraising for my spot.
I
get shin splints and they hurt like a mother bitch. But I knew that going in
and it is something I have to deal with when I run. I also used to blister
every single time I ran but now I have that under control. So of course, the
first two miles on the Verzano Bridge killed my shins. But it is so weird because
they hurt then two miles in to any run the pain is magically gone. The marathon
was no exception to this.
I
met up with Husband Dan and crew at like Mile 10. I ditched the armband
(because of the chaffing) and my fuel belt – oh yeah, I developed an abscess,
literally days before the marathon, and it kept getting more hurty and ginormous.
Without being too graphic where it was/is was right where my fuel belt hit and
I could feel how much it hurt with every single step I took. Each step hurt
more than previous. So I had that going for me too.
If
you ever want to know what you really think about yourself – run a marathon.
Every negative thought I have ever thought about myself (probably ever in my
life) came out while I was running. “You’re too fat to be running a marathon.”
“You didn’t train enough to finish.” “You are not going to finish.” “Maybe this
would be easier if you were skinnier.” “Too bad you’re not faster.” “You’re a
disappointment.” “You don’t deserve this.”
There’s
more, but I’ll spare you. I did finish. Maybe there is some truth to what I
thought. But I finished. Definitely not as fast as I wanted to, but I finished.
(When running a marathon, don’t fall at mile 20. Falling is painful but even
more so if you have just ran 20 miles and have a 10K to go.)
I
know for certain that I want to run another marathon. There is absolutely no
question about that. I entertain an idea of running an ultra (this would be in
a few years). If I can train my consistent and learn how to silence the
negative thoughts swirling around in my head, my next marathon/race will go way
better.
